Constance A. Millinor

Sep 21, 2025

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The Heart of the Matter: A Call for Dialogue in the Face of Violence

The senseless murders of Iryna Zarutska and Charlie Kirk highlight a tragic reality in America: violence, in its many forms, is a pressing issue that goes beyond the methods used to commit it. While it is natural to focus on the weapon—whether a gun, knife, car, or even a rock—the real problem lies deeper. It is not about the object, but about the hearts of those who wield it.

When we fail to engage in meaningful dialogue, when we close ourselves off from hearing different opinions, we risk fueling division and hostility. Too often, we form conclusions based on soundbites, headlines, or half-truths, without taking the time to understand the broader context. This kind of thinking contributes to the unhealthy polarization that is rampant in our society today.

Charlie Kirk offers a powerful reflection on this issue: “When people stop talking, really bad stuff starts. When marriages stop talking, divorce happens. When civilization stops talking, civil war ensues. When you stop having a human connection with someone you disagree with, it becomes a lot easier to want to commit violence against that group.”

Indeed, the root of many of today’s societal problems may not be the physical tools used to commit violence, but the breakdown of communication between people. When we stop talking, we stop listening—and when we stop listening, we fail to understand each other. This is where the danger lies: not in weapons, but in our inability to bridge divides.

The Illusion of Safety Through Legislation

It’s easy to think that by restricting access to weapons, we can prevent violence. However, history and current events show us that the mere act of banning a weapon doesn’t prevent its misuse. In fact, it may only push the issue underground, making it harder to track and control.

Take, for example, the situation in Chicago, a city known for its strong gun laws. In 2024, Chicago reported 573 gun-related deaths and 2,758 shootings. Despite some of the nation’s toughest gun regulations and lower levels of gun ownership, the violence persists. Criminals, by definition, don’t obey the law—so why should we expect them to be deterred by it?

The same logic applies to other deadly tools. In 2024, the FBI reported that knife-related deaths accounted for 1,476 homicides, or 10.6% of the nation’s total homicides. Yet, there are few calls to ban knives. Similarly, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that 37 people die every day in the U.S. due to alcohol-impaired crashes. It’s not the car that kills; it’s the decision of the driver to operate it recklessly. Likewise, drug overdose deaths in the U.S. totaled 80,391 in 2024. We have laws against drug abuse, yet they do little to stem the tide of addiction and overdose.

This pattern should make us pause and reconsider the effectiveness of simply outlawing tools or substances. The issue is not the objects themselves; it is the decision-making, the lack of empathy, and the failure to communicate that drive people to violence or self-destruction.

The Real Problem: A Lack of Empathy and Understanding

The heart of the issue lies in the breakdown of human connection. As psychologist Paul Tournier wisely observed, “Each one speaks primarily in order to set forth his own ideas…. Exceedingly few exchanges of viewpoints manifest a real desire to understand the other person.” In a world where self-righteousness and division reign, it’s easy to see how misunderstandings and lack of empathy lead to violent outcomes.

As Americans, we need to learn how to talk again. And not just talk, but listen. We must open ourselves to different perspectives and engage with them respectfully, even when we disagree. This doesn’t mean we have to abandon our convictions or compromise on our core beliefs, but we do need to recognize that the other side may have something valuable to offer. Engaging in dialogue doesn’t make us weaker—it makes us stronger, more compassionate, and more united.

A Call for Civil Discourse

Ultimately, the solution to America’s violence problem is not as simple as banning weapons or passing more laws. While those actions may provide temporary relief or symbolic gestures, they do little to address the underlying causes of violence: a lack of empathy, a breakdown in communication, and a society that has become increasingly polarized.

We need to return to the basics of civil discourse. We need to be able to have difficult conversations without resorting to personal attacks or violence. We need to value understanding over being right. We need to create spaces where differing opinions are not only tolerated but encouraged, and where we can disagree without hatred or fear.

At the end of the day, we are all Americans, and we should be able to discuss our differences in a way that respects our shared humanity. We may not always agree, but we should be able to express our views without fear of being shouted down or resorting to violence.

This is the true path to healing and unity. Let’s start talking again—really talking, and really listening. Because only then can we begin to address the deeper issues that fuel violence in our society.

Best,

Constance A. Millinor

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